Roaring engines, screeching tires, blinking lights… just not my thing!
You’re probably wondering how a girl can miss out on such an important milestone, the milestone commonly known as FREEDOM. I know, I know... most teenagers count down the days until they get their permit, and as soon as they can get their license, everyone better clear out of the way. But I guess I just wasn’t like most teenagers.
First, I do what any reasonable daughter would do... I blame it on my parents. I had the type of mother who ran through the whole house, making sure everyone knows not to even think about taking a shower as soon as the weatherman told her there might be even the slightest chance of a thunderstorm. Not only was my mother super paranoid about safety, but my dad was overly cautious as well. Together, they did a pretty good job molding me into a worrywart.
But probably a more accurate reason is the fact that I grew up as an Army brat. We were stationed in Germany when I started 7th grade, and we stayed there until I graduated from high school. Living in Europe means no drivers ed, and no license until the age of 18. So I decided to wait until I moved back to the States to get my license, where my parents set me up with a driving instructor. After 3 days of working with me, we never heard from him again. He abandoned me. I’m not sure if it was because he thought I was hopeless, or if he thought I was ready to go get my freaking license already.
Well, I did. At 19 and a half, I finally got my license! But only because my mom knew exactly where they would have me drive, so she took me there the day before and I practiced for 2 hours. I could drive that little path through the neighborhood with my eyes closed… but I still didn’t feel ready to take on the rest of the world.
So here I am, 2 years later, and I still rely on my boyfriend to drive me everywhere. The sad part is, I have my own car. When I passed my driver’s test, my dad handed over the keys to the Mercedes I grew up with. Except now I was expected to be in the driver’s seat instead of just chilling in the back seat. It’s an old car and it’s constantly breaking down, but I realize how lucky I am to have it. I am thankful, and I feel guilty that I always chill in the passenger’s seat.
I’m getting older and so is my car, and if I don’t build a relationship with her soon, it may be too late. (Did I mention the entire muffler fell off last week? No warnings, just KABOOM!)
I’m starting to realize my reasons are just excuses. I’m graduating from college next year, and I plan on having a life. A life that includes driving to and from work. And one day I’ll have kids, and part of being a mom is being a chauffeur, right?
So here I go, just me and my car. Bear with me as I finally learn how to drive without having a panic attack.
Wow. I really feel for you. Abandoned by an instructor. My instructors have been much kinder with me and even ask me to come back for more education.
ReplyDeleteI've had a car since I was ten years old and didn't learn to drive until I was eighteen. When I was 19 I dated a nice young woman who was 21 and tried to teach her to drive. She's now 22 and still doesn't get it.
I really urge you to learn about your vehicle mechanically and get into the basic preventative maintenance so that you can take care of it and help it to take care of you. I'm sure there are many students around here that would help you. You could learn from your boyfriend but experience tells us that it's better that we don't try teach our spouses/partners things.
For instance, I would never try to teach a woman I'm involved with anything but basic shooting skills. Real solidified habits are more easily urged by a figure with authority that is not exactly familiar like a teacher or instructor.
Again, get on that maintenance. A broken car will cost you dearly in the end.
- Aus-B
This is very interesting because you come from a background where something like learning to drive and looking forward to your first car isn't part of growing up. My parents and a lot of my aunts and uncles were like that too. They came from Mexico.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck!
After 3 nearly fatal accidents I had some severe anxiety as well. Best advice I was given, if you get worried, keep your foot on the brake and be ready.
ReplyDeleteI am really looking forward to following your blog because I am helping my roommate with a similar situation. She is a sophomore and just got her license this July. The idea of not being able to drive is so foreign to me but now I realize that some people have never had the chance to learn. Her family only had one car but recently her mother got remarried and moved to the UK, leaving Kate to learn to drive an SUV on her own! Like you said, she was enrolled in a driving course for a weekend but experience is really the only way to become a good driver. I’m sure that trying to learn a skill that this in CRAZY Cobb County environment is not very helpful but you can definitely do it! At first she was nervous about going anywhere but I try to ride with her and help her develop skills that most of us gained over a period of years in just a few weeks! One good thing about learning to drive at this age is that you are more mature now and hopefully not as reckless as you may have been as a teenager. I think you have it right to not want to depend on your boyfriend (or anyone else) for your main mode of transportation and once you tackle this fear you will feel so much more liberated!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, if you are really just starting to drive you might want some advice. Kate, my roommate, probably didn’t have as much instruction as you have but she kind of panicked in the parking deck one day and hit a car. She realized after the fact that if she would just slow down and take her time, she would be able to focus and park much better. Regardless of how crazy the other people around you are driving, just remember we all had to learn at some point in time and to cut yourself some slack! You don’t have to be perfect!
Well, don't feel bad. I'm 21 and don't know how to drive. I did attempt to drive when I worked at a car wash, but that didn't work out so well. Since my mother wrecked her car when I was six, we've been on the bus. So, I'm going to have to dip into my savings in order hire an instructor from either Sear's or Taggart's. There is no reason why we should not know how to drive in our twenties. This should be a course in high school.
ReplyDeleteAwww! It's okay, nobody's making fun of you as long as we don't see you drive, and I mean that in the kindest way possible. :p
ReplyDeleteSince everybody's off giving you advice, I'll toss in my two cents as well, okay?
Okay.
The BEST way to get calmer behind the wheel is to... Get behind the wheel. I honestly didn't get my license until I was 18.8, a week before moving up to Georgia. 8 hours going about 90 mph (following my mother, who insisted she never drives like that) really helped me, but I still can't parallel park.
And I totally over-corrected one day in Central Deck and ended up with CJ (...my car) getting a tad frisky with the cement wall. Now he's CJ the Pirate. But it's cool, 'cause chicks dig scars.
So yeah. :D
Just practice! It took me like 2 years of living here before I got on 75 for ANYTHING. And you'll probably over-correct at some point. It's cool. Just be sure to tell your parents the same thing in the same tone. And don't be surprised when they make you drive around for 6 months with no side view mirror "to make you appreciate it," but really because it's just not on their Top 10 list of things to fix.